So the Idea “no-ullu-banaoing” Ads are quite trending nowadays. We don’t want to know how much money idea made after that; the only reason why I brought this up is that because I came across this idea relationship status update AD which I’m sure most of you must have seen. The AD seems fairly convincing, given the modern era of “dating.” That’s exactly why I was caught up on the Ad! The featured girl persuades her beau to change his relationship status on Facebook from being single to committed whereas the guy seems reluctant about doing so. The girlfriend then just goes on to assuming that her boyfriend is double-dating her and calls off the relationship. The gist of the scene, for us, is that when you have idea as your service provider, you cannot fool anybody, and that’s how the girl finds out that her boyfriend is “cheating” on her.
The concept of love and relationships has evolved over the years and has come to be referred by many different ways. Even the ways by which movies or ads portray it have changed. So let’s have a chat on what love aaj kal is. It was difficult to define love then and so is it even now. But the current generation isn’t really behind defining love, because what difference does it make anyway? And even if they gather some knowledge about love, they would take forever to use the four-lettered word or even if they do, they wouldn’t necessarily mean it. Love has become such a lose term today. The girl and the guy start seeing each other first (regularly) only to find out if their relationship “works out.” Things have drastically changed. Love has become a trial and error factor. Dating has become like buying new clothes, you analyze the person first, try it and then decide if you want to buy it or not. In (good) old days, it used to be just the reverse of what happens today. Pyaar hua, and then ikraar hua. That says it all. Today, pyaar ho na ho, ikraar jaroor hoga. Aur agar who bhi nahi hua toh no big deal.
The society calls today’s generation insane and absurd. On the contrary, I would like to believe that it has become more thoughtful and analytical than ever. Relationships today are confined to late teenage and very few of them actually result into marriage. Gone are the days when the men (or the couple collectively) would give up on their lives on a petty heartbreak. Today, people console themselves by believing in “tu nahi toh aur sahi!” I know this sounds slightly humorous but that’s exactly what’s happening around. Back then, the emerging ladies and gentlemen, would be shy to approach the person they were attracted to and it eventually took them a couple of days or months (or probably years!) to just say hi. Today, love is like Maggie noodles. Quick and Instant! Neither of the sexes is shy anymore to approach their “crush” and “asking them out” happens in a blink of the eye. Growing technology has had a great impact on speedy conservations. Virtual conversations have made things easier for both young boys and girls. Of course there are both pros and cons to this.
It is a general belief that heterosexual love results into “tying of the knot.” At least this is what our forefathers observed and Bollywood taught us. However, that may not be the case with love relationships today. Seldom do they make their entry on paper (read marriage certificate). Couples now, unlike couples then, are not merely in love with the fact of being in love. Perhaps, it doesn’t even secure its position too high in the “renewed” human priority list. I keep listening to my grandmother tell me stories about how young women belonging to well-off families eloped with uncultured men. And these stories, by the way, were real and not some made-up piece of advice-giving usually the elderly find to hound you with. She mentioned a specific year between 1990-1995 (not sure which), which marked not one or two, but an appalling number of six women residing in the same housing society who had let their marriage and their future lives go for a toss by giving into a poverty-stricken living and a substandard lifestyle. After reading this, if you want to believe “all is fair in love and war,” then, I’m sorry to assert this that I’m severely offended. Why would one jeopardize one’s life like that just because they “think” they’re in love? Also, if love was involved in the whole affair, why did the girl’s parents’ unconditional love keep her from moral-policing herself? And what social or economic security did the man-in-disguise (not in-love) bestow upon his “beau?” Where is love, then? I’m not trying to impose on you materialism here; the idea is to bring to your notice that although love is abstract, it comes with a checklist comprising of morals, self-respect, legitimacy, understanding, responsibilities, commitment and pragmatism.
The tone of this article is not at all of pathos; instead, I’m trying to highlight here how Gen Next is not falling in love just anyway to risk their lives. How many suicide cases (on account of unrequited love) do you get to learn today? Let’s be honest, hardly any or none at all. If not anything, the Gen Next has definitely become “peace-loving” in the matters of love (humor intended). Don’t judge a female “marriage candidate” if she interrogates about the male match’s bank balance or family members. She’s doing no harm to others by securing her own and her children’s social existence. Similarly, don’t judge a male “marriage candidate” if he calls off the dating sessions with his ex just to find a better match. I haven’t really conducted a factual survey but by what I get to hear it’d be safe to say that the number of arranged marriages has drastically taken over that of love marriages.
We have something called as “professional-love-marriage” too now. It is unofficially defined as the marriage which takes places on the grounds of social, economic, intellectual and ethnical (caste issues) equality with the significant other. In case of a professional love marriage, the couple in picture is already in love (or something like that) but exercises absolute liberty of shelving the proposal if any of the above requirements don’t equivalent. How cool is that? Everybody is happy like this; the kins, parents and the couple.
We have a tendency of kicking optimism by, in turn, letting pessimism bother us. Our forefathers constantly keep talking about how spoilt and antisocial today’s generation is. I would not deny that the changing generation is lamented by technological slavery resulting in redundant behavior. But this does not and should not get us to conclude that the “good old days” is just history. I don’t know about you, but I certainly take this as a positive change. Today’s young blood doesn’t just sacrifice their blood to write love letters. Both the X and Y chromosome entities know exactly how to deal robustly with the frail concept of love. And vexed parents, do take a note. Because your ward, however self-absorbed, is on the right path!
Think by heart, but while doing so, don’t let your mind go roving.
Come, be stable (don’t fall) in love!
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