I’m in love with a promiscuous girl. I know its hopeless, but as crazy as it sounds, its happening to me. I have seen people in love, I have seen disastrous break ups of a few friends closely and I have, over the years, understood how much trust and honesty it takes to build a relationship. And in fact, that is how it should be because that’s the conventional, original idea of a relationship.
And on one rainy afternoon, when I told this girl that I was in love with her, it was with this conventional idea of a relationship that I had confessed my feelings. She accepted it and I thought I found a bliss. Every single thing seemed picture perfect and I was obsessed with her. That was when I learnt from some of her friends that she was cheating on me. I was hurt. Badly hurt. I loved her a lot and I won’t feel embarrassed to confess that I have cried like a baby when I had to face this. But I never confronted her about this. I didn’t want her to go through this. Because I loved her. And I had realized that it won’t end, I couldn’t get over her. It sickens me to imagine how might she be saying the same things to the other guy that she says to me and it sickens me more that I have been shackled so badly that I just cannot get out of this abyss.
She still is my girlfriend. And every time we meet, every time we touch, and every time I hold her hand in mine, I can just see how nice she is to me. When we kiss, I can only find the strong aura of romance regardless of the fact that she doesn’t mean it. When she leans against my shoulder and tells me about her dreams, I listen patiently because I seek happiness in everything she has to tell me. I seek happiness when we spend time together.
We don’t meet everyday because in her words she ‘cannot leave the house everyday’. And on many such days, I have seen her at a movie holding hands with the other fool like me, or on the road learning to ride a bike with him. I stay out of her sight at such times because I don’t want her to explain me things. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. I cannot care less for her because when she is with me, she is mine, all mine. And love has taught me to find that much enough and stay content with it.
She cares for me, she is always keen to know if I’m too drunk, and if I am, she will rush all the way to see if I’m okay. She comes at my place on weekends and although we make love almost every time, sometimes we also sleep just holding hands. When I’m sick, she’ll make my favorite food, feed me, and read me stories that I have written. She cares and I can see that. So sometimes I like to believe that she loves me. Maybe she does. I don’t know. But I love her honestly and I know that because nothing can be more honest than falling hopelessly in love with a promiscuous girl.
And I will love her for a long, long time.
Cover Photo: Dan Mirica