I know a lot has been said and written about this day already. Newspaper articles, magazine columns and popular blogs are all flooding with everything from suggestions about how to impress her to what’s the meaning of love to personal romantic memories. Some morons who are clueless about why to write but still want to write might tell the age-old story of how St. Valentine united people in love. Then there would be others who would write things to console people who haven’t got girlfriends or boyfriends saying that love can be with anyone and the ranting would go on till they reach the conclusion that love is God or something. I know you are bored of this so I’m not even going anywhere close to that. Fellow man, I’m here to tell you a few things about how much should you perform on this day and where should the limit be.
Okay yeah I can see the bewilderment on your face. Whose performing? And where? Well it’s you. Yeah everything you’re going to do tomorrow to impress your crush or to make it a special day for your girlfriend or wife is all a performance. You don’t do it everyday. You have planned it specially tomorrow and that’s why I say you are performing it. Everyone of you might have different plans for the day. Some might be planning extravagant dates, some others may have made reservations at a beautiful place somewhere in the woods all set to amuse her and very few might really go down on their knees and pull out a ring. I’m not telling you to do anything different but when you’re doing these things, set a boundary and do not surpass it.
Generally when men are in love they know no boundaries to confine their love and they’ll do anything and everything that, they believe, might make her happy. Some might not see any harm in there. You’d say it’s good if I’m doing extra things to make her happy. Well yes, sounds good. But wait, how many of you are Management and Commerce students out here? Do you know this theory called Law of Marginal Utility? Suppose you’re very hungry and you get an apple, you’ll devour it quickly. You need it the most. But that might not be said about the second, third and fourth apple because as your stomach is getting filled, the utility of apples is eventually, gradually decreasing. Now after all this when you are given the fifth apple, you refuse to eat it because it’s surplus. It’s utility will be zero. Know what I’m saying? If you plan too many things that are meant to make her feel special, she will eventually get bored of it. And when she doesn’t react in amazement to a few ‘special’ things you did, it might spoil your mood as well. So confine yourself to a certain extent. Make her feel special, sure, but do not over do it.
At the same time, I’m not even telling you to give up all efforts to make her day special. An un-romantic boyfriend is not what a girl looks forward to on Valentine’s day or for that matter, ever. There should be something that makes her feel wonderful and makes her wonder what else can you do to make her happy. And when she is in that very phase of imagination, stop doing special things and begin being very normal. It will keep her in that sweet continuous aura of imagination and that, will make her day.
It’s not over yet. That’s not all that I wanted to tell you. There is more. We made amendments to make her day sure, but the night still stays back. The greatest challenge will come when the beautiful day if February 14 comes to an end and it’s close to midnight, and she whispers those three beautiful words in your ears: Let’s have sex. Don’t try being a Superman in the bed. Don’t push yourself too hard.Don’t even try talking to her when you’re doing things to her. No woman would ever want to hear how much you love her when your fingers are running all over her body. And since you are making ‘her’ day special, don’t ejaculate in eight minutes and finish the game. Do not have sex like an American man. Do it like the French do. Slow, intimate and satisfying. I know that might be tough but nonetheless, try.
All you have to remember is too many cooks spoil the broth because for women, nothing is as repelling as the man who tries too much. Or at least that’s what Chastity Fernandes says in some other sense. And when your girl finally gets an orgasm somewhere in the dark hours after mid-night you have made her Valentine’s day and bonus, the night too. All the best bro! 😉